Co-Buying in Action: Mary and Sandra’s Journey — Cohousing Corner, September 2026
What is co-buying?
And how can it help make homeownership more accessible?
Co-buying is when two or more people buy a home together, sharing the cost of homeownership. When our Mary first found Sunnyside Village Cohousing, she was so excited at the prospect of living in an intentional community. It opened up a whole new world she didn’t know existed. She knew she wanted to be involved and became a Member, but the financial buy-in was a challenge for her.
This is where co-buying came in.
Mary met Sandra, an Explorer at the time who had expressed interest in co-buying a cottage with someone. They started talking and quickly discovered just how much they had in common. They were both teachers, had both taught ESL, were in the same stage of life, and shared values about what mattered most to them. Before long, they decided to take the next step and purchase a cottage at Sunnyside Village together.
We asked Mary about her journey with co-buying, and this is what she said:
Why did you choose co-buying at this stage of your life?
Sunnyside Member, Mary
For Mary, it came down to practicality. Buying into a cottage individually would have been a financial stretch for both of them. Together, they could join as Members much more comfortably. Neither of them expected to have a housemate at this point in their lives, but the numbers made it clear that this was the smarter path.
"I would not have thought of this. But when it was presented as an option, I realized it would solve a lot of problems for both of us. All of a sudden, that was worth more than having a whole house to myself."
Before joining Sunnyside, Mary never would have considered co-buying. The idea of living within your own family bubble is so deeply ingrained in our culture that sharing a home with a housemate felt foreign. But being part of an intentional community changed her perspective. Understanding what it means to actively build a shared life where everybody knows and cares about each other helped her see the value of sharing in other ways too. It changed how she sees the world and the importance of community, and helped her understand how to navigate the dynamics of sharing life together in a more personal way at home.
How are you preparing for being housemates?
For Mary and Sandra, preparation starts with mindset. "We're going to kill each other with kindness," Sandra said. They're each going into this putting in 100% effort to make it a good experience for both of them.
Sunnyside Member, Sandra
Mary and Sandra connected as interested co-buyers through Sunnyside Village’s co-buying forum where, twice a month, people interested in co-buying meet online with Karen Gimnig, a relationship coach, to learn about skills that teach you how to navigate challenges and communication in co-buying relationships. Using these skills as a base, Mary and Sandra had lots of conversations about all aspects of what living together will be like. They talked through potential scenarios that could arise and how they would handle it in a way that they both agree on, or how they would communicate to work through the issue as a team.
They’ve also started working on written agreements to align themselves clearly so that they both agree on expectations. Beyond the legal agreements to determine how to manage and divide the financial side of things, like mortgage payments and fees, they’ve worked on a roommate agreement on how to move forward in a thoughtful way that feels fair to both of them.
What aspects of sharing a home have you discussed?
Mary and her daughter, Yohana
They first discussed the basics: What style of home did they want? Mary has a 21-year-old daughter, and it was important to her that her daughter always feel like she could come home and have a space of her own. So they chose a 3-bedroom cottage where Mary has two of the bedrooms and Sandra has the third, with the financial split reflecting Mary's greater share of the home. Mary was pleasantly surprised by how flexible co-buying turned out to be, and how easily she and Sandra were able to accommodate her need for extra space.
They also talked about the balance between together time and alone time. Their lifestyles naturally create breathing room, as Mary works mornings, and Sandra works evenings, meaning they won't always be home at the same time. "I'm an introvert, I need my alone time to recharge," Mary said. They've also agreed that their bedrooms are sacred private spaces; a closed door means do not disturb.
What are you most excited about?
Sunnyside Village members out for a night of dancing!
"Sandra is such an interesting and lovely person. She's open, honest, humble, and kind," Mary gushed. Beyond their shared values, they've also discovered plenty of common interests. They both love to dance, and even before moving in together, they've been going out for nights of contra dancing and waltzing.
They're also both committed to making their home a place where they equally belong. "It's not mine, it's not hers, it's OURS."
What advice would you give someone who’s considering co-buying?
Mary visiting a second-hand book store in England
For Mary, it comes down to communication. Co-buying requires very good communication skills between housemates. The most important thing is to find someone who's open to having the important and hard conversations, and willing to put in the work of creating a safe space for each other. Whether it's decisions before moving in, like logistics, finances, and roommate agreements, or things that come up once you're living together, like a habit that bothers you, regular check-ins, or the everyday challenges of shared life, you need someone who can talk things through as a team. You're making choices that are for the good of both of you, not one over the other.
Mary found Karen's co-buying forum discussions invaluable in preparing her to have these conversations with Sandra, and recommends anyone interested in co-buying to look into it.
It's also important to share similar values. This is somebody you'll be living with in close quarters, engaging with probably daily. Connecting on a deeper level helps it feel like a genuine fit. That doesn't mean you need to agree on everything or live identical lifestyles. But when those core values align, the smaller differences become easier to navigate.
Closing Thoughts
Mary's story is a reminder that there's more than one way to make cohousing home. Co-buying is about creativity, shared values, and the willingness to imagine a different kind of life. If Mary and Sandra's journey resonates with you, whether you're considering co-buying or just curious about what it looks like, we'd love to talk. Join one of our upcoming Introductory Sessions to learn more. The path to Sunnyside Village might look a little different than you expected, and that might be exactly what makes it right.
Warmly,
Norm & Jennie and all of us at Sunnyside Village Cohousing